Sunday, May 17, 2009

Just a Lemon and the No Pants Team.

Julie and I went to the store this weekend. We split up to divide and conquer our one stop shopping. As we walked out I confirmed that she had indeed grabbed the most important thing on our list, a lemon...for our hefeweizen. Her silence and blank expression sent me directly back into the store.

I grabbed the best lemon of the bunch and placed it on the check out conveyor belt for the ride of it's life. The silver fox in front of me (50-60yrs old) revealed that he may have "enjoyed" the 1960s a little too much. He looked at my lemon and said, "just a lemon man! That is awesome, just a lemon. Just a lemon and yer good."

I nodded in agreement and said, "just a lemon." I walked out of the store with my head held high and a lemon in my fist...just a lemon.

One of Julie's most endearing qualities, and I mean this in all seriousness, is that she thinks she can't cook. I love to cook. If I screw up the recipe usually I look forward to the unknown. Like the time I accidentally made chocolate chip cookies out of pancake batter. If Julie's in the kitchen and a tsp of salt turns into a tbsp of salt things come undone quickly.

A couple days ago we were expecting some dinner company and Julie was browning some ground beef while I was feeding Will. I heard the usual vocal cues that there was cooking frustration mounting, but I kept focused on getting Will fed. In between bites I turned around to see how it was going. Julie was on the floor, picking up ground meat, and for some reason had removed her pants!

It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

After I ascertained what had happened my next question was, "What do I do when Vanessa gets here?" It must be noted that I get in trouble for leaving our bedroom door cracked if Julie is taking a shower. So I deducted that someone walking in while my pant less Cinderella was scrubbing e. coli off the floor may not be the best situation.

To my surprise Julie said she didn't care. This really threw me off. I had to have a clarifying conversation and find out who else was on the no pants team besides Vanessa. Most everyone I know has been or is on my no pants team...who's on yours?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Oatmeal Facial

Today is daddy day and it's started with a bang. I decided to feed Will oatmeal for breakfast. If I make it thick enough he can easily eat it with a spoon leaving me time to figure out what to stick in my face for breakfast.

He did well until about halfway through I looked over and he had decided to give himself an oatmeal facial. Sticking his face into his bowl of oatmeal.

"The humble breakfast cereal helps calm and moisturize the skin and has long been used to remedy dryness. But mixed with ingredients like fresh tomatoes, oatmeal also helps oily and blemish-prone skin."

This reminded me that we had a Young Life leader that decided to stick his entire head into a bowl of mashed potatoes for an extended period of time one night. It got a few laughs, but it also got him a trip to the emergency room to have doctors remove dried potatoes from his ear canals.

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when he explained to the nurse how mashed potatoes became lodged in his ear.