Monday, January 26, 2009

My Resume

I decided it would be enlightening to post my complete list of previous employment along with insights I've gained from each.

1. Statesman Journal Newspaper Carrier - I don't like getting up in the morning.
2. Dog/House Sitter - I wish someone would pay me to take care of my own dog and house.
3. Lawn Care Services - Don't wear your new shoes when mowing the lawn.
4. Strawberry and Raspberry Picker - Eating berries really cuts into profits and you can learn a new language if your desperate enough.
5. YMCA Camp Counselor -
6. Coffee Café Barista - The skin is able to soak up an incredible amount of coffee "aroma."
7. Elegant Catering Server - A little alcohol can increase tips greatly.
8. Original Pancake House Dishwasher, Host - When you've got a face like this, don't hide it behind the dishwasher.
9. Circuit City Warehouse Associate - The make steel toed boots for a reason.
10. Video Production Free Lance - don't forget to save your work.
11. PLU Media Services Technician - I don't necessarily need to know why, just how.
12. Truss Joist MacMillian Floor Joist Manufacturing - watch your fingers.
13. KCCS Radio On Air Personality/Production - It is possible to fall asleep in the studio.
14. Tacoma Rainiers Baseball Club - When dressed as Rhubarb the your back.
15. Pipe Incorporated Concrete Pipe Manufacturing -
16. Seattle Sonics Broadcasting Intern - Money can't buy wisdom.
17. PLU Learning Services Audio Textbook Recording - Why am I reading someone else's books and not my own?
18. Alaska Airlines Reservation Sales Rep. - you never know where you'll end up. You could pack for Mexico and wind up in Anchorage.
19. Clover Creek Bible Fellowship Youth Director/Video Intern - computers your work.
20. Tap Tool - I may some day be replaced by a robot.
21. Young Life Intern and Area Director - the work is never done.
22. Affordable Funeral Care Removal Services - If the sheriff is there...that's not a good sign.
23. RE/MAX Community Realty Realtor - writing personal notes to people is important.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Awkward Encounters

1. Most of us have learned long ago that relationships will, at some point, be weird. I've had a couple encounters over the last few years that have left a lasting impression, if not permanent damage.

During any given shopping trip in our small town it is RARE to make it out of the store without seeing at least one person you know, if not my usual barrage of fans. A couple weeks ago I was walking past the check out lanes and saw a lady I "kind of" knew. We exchanged hellos and she took a step towards me. She was obviously moving in for a hug. Not wanting to be "out hugged" I stepped forward and embraced her first, all the while trying to figure out when we reached hugging status.

Once I released her we exchanged pleasantries and she continued on her previous trajectory, reaching for some aisle-end impulse item. Like a point guard going for the hoop, she had been trying to reach her item all along before I stepped in and hugged her.

I kicked myself all the way home for taking the relationship to the next level. To make it even more awkward I had a Facebook friend request waiting for me from her when I got home.

2. The other encounter occurred when some friends and I were crashing a wedding reception in Vienna, Austria. We started dancing with the locals and mimicking their moves until everyone on the dance floor was in a big circle.

I wound up positioned between two Austrian women, their hands on my shoulders. As the song sped up, so did the dancing. The lady on my right had been "enjoying" the evening and the associated beverages. As the dancing sped up her hand got lower and lower on my back. Not knowing any Austrian and fearful I wouldn't have a story to tell, her hand eventually came to rest inside my quick dry travel underwear on my bare butt.

I just kept dancing and smiling and looking forward to bringing my travel partners "into the loop."

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Move

Every now and again "the move" will make a public appearance. I can't remember the first time the move was performed, but I can tell you that it's been to several countries around the globe, spotted on You Tube and used on a post 9/11 flight at 35,000 feet.

Is it dance, martial arts or yoga? Many have tried to better understand it only to wind up more baffled than before.

It's brought joy, healed nations and often been the perfect wedding gift. Not until now was "the move" captured in such rich clarity. Without further ado..."the move."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Larry King and Plate Glass

I just got an opportunity to "view" my first blog post. I got to wondering how many people actually have the "dark dots" as their template. It makes me feel like I'm on Larry King.

I was just recently reminded of a friend from college who just hours before my visit decided to jump up on his couch and moon his housemates through their huge plate glass window. As he vigorously pressed his cheeks against the window it shattered. He went tumbling out of the window and eventually to the hospital to have the glass removed from his butt.

I wish I could have been there when he explained to the doctor how he got shards of glass imbedded in his butt like a CNN reporter in the 81st Airborne Division. This still brings a tear of joy to my eye.


Apparently I'm going to start blogging again. I thought I had retired after my 4 entries in 2006. I guess I thought blogging was a fad and I was going to be ahead of the curve and ditch it early. However much like the hair on my legs blogging is still here and I'm going to give it another crack.

I'm going to use this to post some gems from the past present and future. I love to tell stories and these..."actually happened."